Written by victor nicholas

Friday, 27 August 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Meltdown Occurs at Ventnor Dairy
Pancakes being used to mop up the spill

Residents of Ventnor were evacuated to Shanklin and Sandown this morning as the Favourable Dairy experienced a meltdown.

The meltdown is reported to have occurred due to an operator in the control booth falling asleep during the night shift causing cooling rods in the butter vat to overheat causing a chain reaction in the butter which quickly escalated into an out of control critical situation causing melting to occur.

What normally would have been wrapped with waxed paper into one pound bricks bearing the welcoming Favourable Dairy smiling red heifer logo on it quickly became a seething yellow torrent roaring onto the streets of Ventnor.

While some had the presence of mind to take advantage of the situation by quickly popping some corn or making pancakes and waffles the gravity of the situation soon took hold as motor vehicles started sliding off of roadways into ditches filled with melted butter and pedestrians, even young folk, lost their footing and became sautéed in the familiar streets of their home town in a scene too horrble to imagine.

While the meltdown spread quickly residents who evacuated to outlying communities have started to return and mop up the spill with pancakes, scones, Devon cream, strawberry jam and toast.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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