Written by walter

Monday, 9 August 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Although Hyenasianism, derived from 'hyena', has been around for so many centuries, it ‎did not surface until after 9/11. Briefly, this meritorious form of government does not rely ‎on ill-fated majority consensus. Therefore, it has rendered polling stations obsolete. ‎Good riddance! ‎

Hyenasianism, neither a monarchy nor a republic, is a well-marinated system which ‎simply requires a low percentage of down-to-earth devotees, much less than the 15% ‎that Marxists, Maoists and Fascists need to harness a people. It needs only a teeny-‎weeny 5%.‎

To tell you the truth, like many other schools of thoughts, there is no exact prehistoric ‎data on it, but its finalized version appeared many centuries ago. It was not initiated ‎single-handedly. Many contributed to its growth. ‎

One day, probably, the initiator was looking at Egyptian Pyramids when he learned that ‎even a pyramid needed a base on which to stand. Then, he visualized a social pyramid, ‎resting on a base comprised of biological needs: water, food, sex and shelter. Anyway, ‎covertly, in the past decade, the basic-need idea was indirectly reintroduced in a ‎clandestine manner as 'al(the) Quaedeh(base).‎

Not surprisingly, the first primitive inventor who had no computerized modules at hand, ‎among all animals, he chose a hyena as his role model. Now, we know why. He ‎somehow identified with this predator scavenger. Perhaps, of all a hyena's ‎characteristics he admired his roaming the desert and marking it with its strong-smelling ‎faeces, or his specific calls, from the top of the hills in small hours, or adopting ‎straightforward techniques that call forward its followers to a meeting place, as an army ‎post, on a daily basis. ‎

Presently, the world conquering Hyenasianism is firmly established. It has many codes ‎of conduct. All based on primitive tangible needs of its own believers. For instance, like ‎its role mode, they have a spot on their forehead. The structure of the sculls and jaws of ‎the members is very similar to the role model, bone-crunching square jaws. Their legs ‎are proportionally shorter than forelegs, giving them an ominous look of a prancing ‎hyena. Their vocalization, ear piercing, wakes sleeping people. As to their females, well-‎guarded, there is no exact information about their look, behavior, etc. They are simply ‎breeding organs kept within the walled dens.‎

The only educated guess we have is that Hyenaists live long, favor polygamy, but they ‎are invariably bisexual. As we all know, all women have a monthly cycle which can last, ‎say, a week. Therefore, our sexually active character here, if not in possession of more ‎than a mate, during the monthly cycle, misses the frontal orifice which is badly needed ‎as a night cap; consequently, during that very week, he forcefully demands the mate to ‎turn over, tummy-wise. ‎

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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