Chaos reigned across the Isle of Wightthis morning, as the residents found themselves in 'Foreign Waters' - The Meditteranean, to be exact.
As Newby residents awoke this morning, they noticed the water was a much brighter blue along the coastline, than it had been when thye had gone to bed the night before.
When they went outside, they could feel an unusually warm wind blowing and everything smelled differently.
It wasn't long before they found out what had happened.
The Town (sorry) Village Crier was yelling for all residents to meet at The Green in the centre of the village.
"Oh yez! Oh yez! Inasmuch as this affects ALL residents of Newby - all men, women and children are asked to meet at the Village Green. Oh yez! Oh yez! Drop whatever you are doing and meet at the Village Green. Oh yez! Oh yez!
Panicked men, women and children ran to The Green. Women pushing prams, curlers still in their hair, men pulling on their trousers, braces still 'hanging', flat caps atop their curly heads, fags dangling from the sides of their mouths, babies screaming and toddlers howling, teenagers laughing at all the excitement.
The scene was somewhat reminiscent of the 2nd World War, when sirens went off and people rushed to bomb-shelters.
However, this was 2010 and there wasn't a war going on....at least not one the Newby residents were aware of.
The rotund Mayor, Mr. Ivor Bighead, spoke to the residents, in an effort to allay their fears and calm them but some concerned residents could not be totally subdued.
When they found out they'd been captured by the Spanish Government and towed to the Meditteranean for a while, the teenagers cheered....the babies continued to scream, the toddlers continued to howl. The adults looked mortified.
"What should we do?", yelled little Billy Murray, "What should we do? Do we still hafta to to school or wo'?
The Mayor assured them that everyone was to carry on as normal, as normal as life COULD be on the Isle of Wight.
He continued to tell residents that they'd probably better off adopting some Spanish customs so as not to annoy the Spanish Goverment. He had a few ideas:
- Start adding 'squid' to their diets
- Take flamenco dancing lessons
- Begin 'Running of the Bulls' festivals
When reminded they didn't have no more than two bulls in Newby, the Mayor said,
"Well use bloody buggering big pigs then".
- Become fans of the Spanish football team (for now anyway).
The ladies of the Newby Women's Insitute offered to make T-shirts for the football supporters, deciding to dispense with the usual striped woolly hats and scarves because of the heat.
As the residents of the Isle of Wight settled down to their new 'temporary' life they smiled wry smiles, especially in Newby.
At least they wouldn't have to worry about where to go for their summer holidays this year.
