Ee i ee i oh!‎

Funny story written by walter

Saturday, 10 July 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

On a country road, short of the ridge, taken by its reckless drivers as an auto racing ‎track, there lay a cow in the middle of the road patiently ruminating. The screeching ‎sounds of skidding tiers did not bother the ruminating cow, really a close call for all ‎parties. ‎

However, the scene philosophically captured my attention, simultaneously branding the ‎cow as the most stupid animal of the word. On the other hand, my life experience ‎contradicted it emphatically. As in the ordinary business of life and in present time, a ‎wise man not only fails to look superior to an unskilled laborer but also inferior to him-‎because the philosopher cannot lift a heavy rock or jump a hurdle like the worker. And ‎the laborer's view regarding the scientist is obvious: 'a penny for your thoughts'.

The ‎assets of a man of wisdom are his foresight and prescience. And the present requires no ‎precognition! When it comes to living one's life, men of lower faculty lead an enviable ‎lifestyle, especially their quick erections.‎

Therefore, I withdrew the judgment. Now, my thought flew to India where its people respect ‎or rather worship a cow. The reasoning they give is quite convincing: a cow yields milk, ‎an ox tills in the fields or draw carts. Cow's dung is still used as manure or fuel. ‎Consequently, the cow is perfect utility; nothing is wasted. And above all, Indians of India have ‎learned how to leave peacefully with nature. ‎

Sociologically speaking, a herd of cows doesn't mind to be herded as long as they can ‎eat, drink and sleep. But, at the same time, they don't like to be pushed or to be startled, ‎in which case they bolt and trample anything that gets in their way. When compared to ‎Homo sapiens, we find this species quite willing to give up his human rights for food, ‎shelter and sex. ‎

Now read the following quote: According to Times newspaper in Johannesburg, South ‎Africa," An 18-year-old Indonesian man, (86% Muslims), says he was seduced by a cow, ‎and that's why he was having sex with it. A neighbour caught Gusti Ngurah Alit allegedly ‎wooing the farm animal on Sunday 13 Jun 2010 was caught by one of the residents ‎standing naked while holding the back of the cow,… Alit said he didn't see an animal, he ‎saw a beautiful young woman… She called my name and seduced me, so I had sex with ‎her. Alit underwent a cleansing ritual. The village chief gave the owner of the cow the ‎equivalent of $562. The cow was reportedly drowned in the sea to rid the village of bad ‎luck. As part of a Pecaruan ritual, a ceremony to cleanse the village of the unholy act of ‎a man mating with a cow, Alit was forced to "marry" the animal!"‎

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more