Isle of Wight News - Rubber Duck Invasion

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Rubber Duck Invasion
One of the offending ducks

A major investigation was launched this week to investigate the curious case of the flotilla of rubber ducks that have been inundating Yarmouth Harbour for the past fortnight.

The busy Yarmouth harbour has become awash with the small yellow bath toys which is causing a danger to the Wightlink Ferry to and from Lymington on the Mainland as well as the numerous pleasure boats that operate out of the harbour.

What was amusing when we reported on the first few last week has since become a major menace. At one point, Yarmouth harbour looked like a carnival filled with hook a duck stalls as harbour officials tried to clear the blockade of ducks that were preventing boats from entering or exiting the harbour.

According to harbour master Herbert Drowney, 56 of Wellow, the source of the ducks has been found through some cunning detective work.

"We have managed to trace the ducks," Drowney said. "On the underside of them are contact details. It appears that over the course of the past few months many towns on the mainland have been running Duck Races, if you can believe that. Apparently, the mainlanders throw thousands of these things into a river and race them with nary a thought as to where they go. Well, I'm telling you where they go. They go here!"

According to resident island boffin, Peter Swann, 13 of Ryde, the tides around our island are unique and funnel any and all detritus in the English Channel past Yarmouth harbour.

"Generally they wash straight past," said Swann, "However, the unique shape of a rubber duck is such that they swing round the harbour wall and mix with the shipping."

In other related news, Herbert Drowney will be opening Drowney Ducks in Yarmouth later in the summer, selling rubber ducks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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