Top 12 Things The New Health Care Bill Will Not Cover At The Hospital

Written by Bureau

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Top 12 Things The New Health Care Bill Will Not Cover At The Hospital

12. Special ass flap for gown. $25. But free if you allow some advertising there.

11. 3D TV in every room and always on, $50 per day.

10. Carrying charge for wheeling you out to your car in a wheelchair.

9. Tip for guard who watched over your car while you were inside. $10-$25.

8. Any pubic shaving mishaps.

7. Appendix replacement, $200.

6. Extra, extra special sponge baths are $150, same as downtown.

5. Wheelchair collision, no fault insurance.

4. "In some cases, up to 25 plug-in deodorants."

3. New 10% government surcharge when bill is presented if paid early or late or on time.

2. The $150 up front to the head nurse that will keep you off her shit list.

1. Any lawsuits caused by nurse injuring herself after passing out while carrying out your bedpan.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more