More Volcanic Ash On Its Way As Volcano Continues To Erupt

Written by Lady Godiva

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for More Volcanic Ash On Its Way As Volcano Continues To Erupt
Do not go outside without protection. More volcanic ash is on its way

More volcanic ash is, indeed, on its way heading for Europe and parts of Canada as the Iceland Volcano, with the funny name, continues to erupt.

Precautions MUST be taken in order to safeguard our health and environment.

People who hang out their washing to dry, are asked not to do so until the 'volcanic ash warning' is lifted. Leaving it out on the washing lines will cause it to attract the ash, resulting in you having to rewash. This is a waste of detergent, water and your time.

Do not go outside without wearing a medical mask for fear of breathing in the tinier particles of ash. This is hazardous for your lungs. This warning goes out for all PETS too. Pet-sized mask are available, free, at all pet stores. Goldfish are excempt.

Cover all vegetables and flowering shrubs in your garden. Plastic wrapping is advised as it holds in the moisture. Lift the plastic every 4 hours in order to spray your vegetables and flowering shrubs.

If you have a sizeable lawn - this includes Golf Courses everywhere, keep sprinklers on 24/7 as this will wash the ash off blades of grass immediately and will go into the ground and act as an instant fertilizer, providing you with lusher, greener grass in the longrun.

Watch this space for further tips.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more