The Bleeping Veep

Written by Ben Salz

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

When a microphone recently picked up Vice President Joe Biden telling the President that, "this is a big f***ing deal", many Americans at last felt a connection with one of it's top leaders it hasn't felt since Bill stained Monica's dress.

Biden's connection to Americans was in fact deeper than those made by G.W. Bush to babbling illiterates and Cheney to hateful war mongers. If not just for that moment, Joe Biden wasn't Vice-President of the United States, he was our foul-mouthed buddy Joe, whom we'd never dream of setting up with our sister or any other female relative, friend, or pet for that matter. Why? Because this is not the Veep's first bleep nor will it be his last.

With the help of lip readers, I've been able to identify several other occasions when the Veep dropped F-bombs that the microphones didn't pick up, sparing him any collateral damage:

I've got your f***ing tiebreaker right here. American f***ing Idol!

Don't make me f***ing dunk on you, Barack!

Happy f***ing Passover, Israel.

F***ing "A", Hillary has a huge ass!

Message from Main St. to Wall St.: F*** you!

John Edwards is a toxic f***ing asset.

Can I get some healthcare reform in this motherf***er?

F*** the Senate, it's Miller time!

I wouldn't f*** Nancy Pelosi with Liz Cheney's fist.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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