Marijuana is...
...Why I wake up in the morning
...How I wake up in the morning
...My shower buddy
...Something the man will never understand
...A breath of fresh-air
...A reason for hope
...The agent of change
...Bi-partisan
...As illegal as speeding
...The reason Hollywood exists
...The reason Jay speaks for Bob
...The reason I know some black people
...The reason people die in peace
...The cure for war
...A Schedule 1 Narcotic with no medical value, unless its Marinol
...Money on a plant
...Why they laughed when they arrested me
...Good enough for Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Stephen King, Barrack Obama, and Morgan Freeman
...Making Kellogs millions
...Making Anheuser-Busch scared
...Killing tumors
...Making doctors, lawyers, teachers, and preachers into criminals
...Why I sleep 13 hours, uninterrupted
...Why I went to college
...Why I'm out of college
...How I educate myself
...Why Bob Dylan invented rap
...Why I read, the Spoof
...Why Will Ferrell is still sometimes humorous
...Why Afroman is my ring-tone
...Why Michael Phelps is the greatest Olympian of all time
...Why Ricky Williams is playing football for money, again
...Why I work 40 hours a week, which is difficult when I sleep for 13 hours a day
...Public enemy numero uno, though it never killed any member of the public
...Why I haven't shaved in a week
...Why I don't care that I haven't shaved in a week
...Possibly, the reason I am single
...Possibly, the reason I am content whacking off
...The reason April 20th isn't remembered for Columbine in Colorado
...The reason I can't remember what you want on your burrito
...The reason there's no more steak left for your burrito
...The reason I am no longer making burritos
...The reason I keep thinking about burritos
...Why Harry J. Anslinger will get pissed on whenever I find his grave
...Why I've mixed Ramen Noodles and clam chowder at least twice
...Beautiful.
And I'm kinda hungry. Fruit Roll-ups and string beans!
