Home experiments whilst naked #01

Written by Jesus Budda

Monday, 22 February 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Home experiments whilst naked #01
Here are 3 plastic females i produced earlier

I am Jesus Budda.

In this series I will be describing some experiments that you, the ordinary person reading this article right now, can do at home. Naked.

All these experiments are 100% real.

The majority of them will not lead to death or illness.

I take no responsibility for any horrible mutilation that should occur.

With that crap out of the way, let us now enter the world of science fun.


What you need:

- 1 Litre of milk (from a cow or other mammal)
- About 20ml White vinegar
- A pot
- A spoon for stirring the crap
- A sieve for straining the crap
- Water
- A heat source (a dragon would be cool but you can just use the cooker stove)
- Nudity
- Time and effort you are willing to waste

Put the milk in that fucking pan and heat that bad boy up. Yeah, that's nice and warm, baby.

Don't let it boil, merely simmer.

Stir in the vinegar until you notice yellowish bits curdling in the pot. Jesus, that stinks!

Turn off that pot and let it cool down.

When the pot has cooled, sieve the rubbery yellowish mixture out and pour the milk down the sink (don't drink it unless you want to die or piss yourself).

Form and pres the rubbery stuff into a blob. Mould it into some decent looking shape - like a ball or whatever.

Look, I'm not your fucking mother.

Use your imagination ok?

Congratulations, you have produced plastic. Whilst naked!

What just happened?

You produced casein which is similar to the stuff your keyboard is made from or CD case or whatever.


Don't get any of this stuff on your, errrrm, you know what. If you do, and you turn out to enjoy the experience, then you are weirdo and I want nothing more to do with you. You are therefore banished from my little naked experiment classes!
Go to Experiment #02

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more