Written by Bureau

Friday, 12 February 2010

image for Bladder Creek Woman Believes In Unicorns, Seventh Marriage Will Work Out
"That There Is A Ghost Cow!"

Bladder Creek resident Debbie Arlene Snotgrass, 52, affirmed her faith Thursday in both her seventh marriage, to local band drummer, Bobby Jim Casey, 58, and the existence of magical unicorns.

"I often feel my own special unicorn watching near me all the time," said Snotgrass, a religious collector of unicorn-decorated collector plates, quilts and paintings. "And I just know that Bobby Jim and the boys will hit it big with their country rap band, P. Truckcab Dogg."

"Bobby Jim is the man for me, I know that now. I just wished I'd a knowed it before marrying them six losers."

"Why, he even works some odd hours helping in the kitchen at 'The Wind, Mariah's' in Bowling Green." 'Signs and Wonders', Snotgrass has previously expressed belief in, include sweat lodge therapy, generous-to-a-fault Nigerians, wart readers, Scientollergist abductions, ghost cows who dress as unicorns by removing one horn, number of fogs in August predicting the number of winter snows and her ten boyfriends and first six marriages.

"I guess I am a little superstitious at that", she admitted.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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