Match Wits With Inspector Manholes!

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 18 July 2009


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Early on a Saturday evening, Inspector Manholes sat at his residence with three of his old friends that he had known since childhood.

It was 8 PM and around the table, for they were playing bridge, were, beginning from Inspector Manhole's right, Ida May Bust, the famous actress, Ada Biggun, the wife of the famous wrestler, Big Bill "The Donkey" Cliton and on the Inspector's left, Gloria Hose, the wealthy and well-built Hosiery Queen.

As often happened, they began a discussion of what ever happened to Hitler's penis.

"Here, I have a surprise for you ladies," stated Inspector Manholes. "I am in charge of that very penis through Monday when I shall deliver it to the WWII Museum. If you ladies would like to view the specimen, we can go into my office."

Of course, everyone agreed and were surprised when the Inspector, instead of going to a safe, went over to some shelves and pulled a small box from each.

There was a red box, a blue box and a white box.

"You just leave your prized penis out in the open for all to see?, inquired Ada May Bust.

"Yes I do", answered Inspector Manholes. "Just like the old Poe story about the purloined letter."

Then the Inspector carefully opened each small box and there was a shrunken penis in each. "You see ladies, in order to confuse any robbers until Monday morning, I have two shriveled but much longer red-assed spider monkey penises in the other two boxes. Interesting isn't it?"

As Ada Biggun set the one box back down after close examination, she stated as she left the room, "It still seems dangerous to leave your penis out in the open like that."

"Oh that's OK", replied the Inspector. "I change the boxes around every 32 minutes." Whereupon the other two ladies watched the Inspector place the small Hitler penis in the red box and the other two in the blue box and the white box as Inspector Manholes made a mark in his small notebook.

The next day Inspector Manholes had breakfast and went into his study and discovered that all three boxes were lying on the table and the slightly smaller Hitler penis seemed to be missing.

He immediately went to see Ada Biggun at her residence. After opening the door, Ada seemed surprised to see the Inspector.

"What brings you here so early, Inspector Manholes?"

"I came for the missing Hitler penis, Ada."

"But why me?"

"For one thing, you kept holding your large breasts together as you were leaving last night. #2 It fell out of your uh bodice onto the floor and #3, you were the only one out of the room when I placed it in the red box. The other two saw me place it there and I never switched it again until I went in there this morning and ALL THREE BOXES WERE OPENED! So it had to be you, I'm afraid."

"Besides, I exchanged the penises and place a red assed spider monkey's penis on the floor."

"So that's what happened. I soaked and shrank this one all night and believed I could fool a collector with it", and she showed the shrunken diget to the Inspector, the action knocking the Hitler penis and the red ass spider monkey's penis onto the floor and neither could tell which was which.

"Oh my, now what are you going to do, Inspector Manholes? You are to be at the museum first thing in the morning. Will they be displaying a red assed spider monkey's penis as that of Hitlers?"

What WAS Inspector Manholes to do?

The solution:

The very next day saw Inspector Manholes at the museum with a small red box which he handed over to the head of the museum, a big-eyed Mr. Neverfart whose eyes became even larger when he saw the contents.

"What is the meaning of this, Inspector Manholes?"

"The meaning sir, is that no wonder so many people were attracted to the man. Hitler had two penises!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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