Wanted: American President. Must have no experience. Needs passport and large teeth, must have strong right arm to wave a lot.
Will be working with pet animals, such as little puppies. Duties will include talking a lot without saying anything, visiting foreign countries for no reason, and taming savage rodents of the hillariae rat species, that may wander into the house.
Will be given lessons on how to sound like the Messiah when opening a new supermarket, and how to act like you're the most important human in the Universe, when you're only a hired servant that will only do whatever right-wing conservative big businesses tell you to do. Previous applicant may apply again, as anyone who can speak basic English instantly qualifies for the position, and so does anyone who can't even manage that.
In fact, anyone with an IQ over 1 may apply, and even that will be waived if your name is Bush, Reagan, Clinton, Nixon, Carter or Kennedy. Please send $180 million plus a brief description of why you are totally unfit to be the President of the United States of America, and we will get back to you to offer you the job, as soon as the money is safely tucked away in a Swiss bank account.
No Canadians, British, New Zealanders or Australians please, as you may spot that the position of President has become a worldwide joke, and may start laughing about it - or might actually start doing something practical as President, rather than just waving and smiling, and sending thousands more American troops to die in the Middle East for European oil.
