Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-1

Funny story written by walter

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

When he retired as major, Cavalry, Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes, also known as Ajax, was just forty. With the best education, military and non-military, Antonius could have made a general. His reasons to quit were numerous. The first and foremost: his commanders' stupidity. The last but not the least: the inefficiency of his subordinates. Furthermore, he left his community as well, and became a self-employed shepherd to live alone on the top of the plateau once used by his uncle before his uncle was cowardly robbed of his herd.

Major's flock consisted of 100 sheep and goats, a jennet and three dogs called Captain, Lieutenant and Sergeant. He had a fenced pen for summer time, a natural cave-converted stable for winter time, a natural spring, a reservoir pool, a 200-liter emergency water reservoir, a jeep, a trailer assembled permanently in a safe corner, a small garden for herbs, cucumbers, tomatoes, melons and his favorite flowers, particularly morning glory and four o' clock.

Antonius had some readable books from Plato to contemporary thinkers. However, he had everything he needed on CDs to be used on the laptop. Before moving to the plateau, he smashed his television and radio sets. Nevertheless, he kept his cell phone for emergency cases, but he would not leave it on to save battery. He had his bed, desk, dining table and his favorite rocker. Additionally, he had his legally issued Winchester shotgun, not for hunting but for self-defense. Except in winter, he would use his military-style camp shower, simple, efficient and sufficient: a 50-litter galvanized bucket on the top of a 2-meter-high wooden frame equipped with some rungs, simple valves and a perforated nozzle. The blazing sunshine of midday on the plateau could heat up the 50-liter water up to 40 Celsius by mid afternoon.

Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes was happy. At his command, whistle or words, the flock guided by the lead goat and herded by the dogs, moved forward. Antonius would determine the daily route, but any lateral movement was up to the individual members of the flock. However, no falling back was permitted.

Although Antonius was a strict disciplinarian, he did not mind a ram to exhibit its characteristic behavior. He had come to terms with the fact that goats and especially their kids were naughty. Anyway, he was the king of the flock and as such he wished to be absolutely obeyed according to 'The laws of the Medes and Persians which altereth not'. (Daniel, book 6, verse 8 )
(to be continued)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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