"Hi Buddy, you all ready for bed?"
"Yes Daddy?"
"Want a story?"
"I guess, Daddy."
"You remember the time we went up to New York and we were getting hot dogs from that street vendor and this wino came along and passed out and he fell on the heating unit for the hot dog stand and they all got blown up? That was wild, wasn't it? We ate free hot dogs for two hours and we nearly blew up too. Then that gang came and beat daddy and mommy and took away the rest of the hot dogs?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Then the next time we went up there to plug daddy's book on ghosts and killers and I stopped and had a drink and drank too much and puked on the karaoke machine while singing "Mandy" and it caught fire and there was this horrible stampede and we almost burned up but this big dead thing pulled us out? Wasn't that fun?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Then there was the time we were at Uncle Joe's(Your namesake) funeral and the undertaker had used the wrong
stuff or something and someone lit a cigar too close and old Joe exploded and his head landed in your lap? Wasn't that a gas?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"And that time we were at the zoo and one of the lions escaped and carried off that old lady and the ambulances running around and the rest of the lions got rounded up but into the monkey area by mistake and they ate the monkeys
and that time we were in New Orleans and those things tried to eat our brains? Boy, that was a wild time and fun, well fun later on when I wrote ten stories about it and that's how this house in Maine got infested by supernatural vermin we see at night. Look, there's one grinning at us over there in the corner now. He's got a hammer."
"Yes, Daddy."
"Well, sleep tight, Joe. Tomorrow night I'll tell you all about how daddy got ran over by a van and kept wishing he was dead and saw all kinds of different stages of dead people. Goodnight son."
"Goodnight Daddy!"
