Deadly new Email Virus

Funny story written by Shaworth

Friday, 3 April 2009

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Keep at least six feet away from any infected computers

New Virus Warning - Please beware of the Monica Lewinsky Virus, it sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.

If you receive such an e-mail (subject line of "Bill, Blows-jobs and Me, by Monica Lewinsky)" delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. It contains the most dangerous e-mail virus to date.

Even more deadly than the TITANIC virus - an early more basic strain of the Lewinsky virus, but where your whole computer goes down.

It will reformat your hard drive, and change your screen resolution. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.

It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

If the message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only drink all your beer, it will refill your skimmed milk with whole.

It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your pop and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work.

If you are in any doubt about whether your computer has the infection you should incinerate the PC immediately and inform the authorities.

Pass this warning on to everyone in the world immediately

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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