Dear Duff

Written by Duff

Friday, 6 February 2009

image for Dear Duff

Dear Duff,

Just recently I seem to be unable to keep a civil tongue in my head.

During a recent trip to Australia I called the Prime Minister a one-eyed Scottish idiot and I'm worried by what I might do next.

You see I have an invitation to a garden party at Buckingham Palace this coming summer and I am to be introduced to Her Majesty the Queen in person.

I'm afraid that I might blurt out some awful gaffe and then there will be a frightful hoo-hah.

Can you please advise what I can possibly do to avert this potential disaster?

Jeremy Clarkson

Duff Replies:

Dear Jeremy,

You naughty boy you! You really must put your brain in gear before engaging your gob-hole or you could end up in the Tower.

If you want a role model then look no further than the Queen's own husband, Phil the Greek. There's a man who knows the value of biting his tongue no matter what the provocation.

Before your meeting with The Queen you might consider practicing this phrase. "Oh your Majesty, what an honour to meet you and what a charming hat and frock". On no account must you let your mind go blank or that's when the trouble could start

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Related Stories...

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more