Dear Duff

Written by Duff

Thursday, 29 January 2009

image for Dear Duff

Dear Duff,

My husband is hiding a secret from me, I'm sure of it. He is becoming furtive in his behaviour and last week when he was out playing golf I found a weapon of mass destruction hidden behind a loose tile in the bathroom.

Do you think that he's possibly chosen world domination over our idyllic lives here in Cheadle Hulme? Or do you perhaps think that if I turn a blind-eye all this foolish nonsense will pass and we can pick up the pieces once more?

Mrs Edith Death-Ray
Bognor Regis

Duff replies

Dear Mrs Death Ray,

I'm afraid that much as it hurts me to say this, I rather think you may have lost your husband.

In my experience once a man has his head turned with thoughts of plutonium and uranium, then it would need you to be a fairly tidy bird to get him back on track.

Also, you must remember that if his nadger has been exposed to this kind of radioactive gubbins then it will be next to useless to you. My advice is to get yourself a toy boy and forget all about you husband.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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