Written by IN SEINE

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

image for Times of Yore
Dubious Peloponnesian History Book

Strange History You Didn't Get in High School (the B.C. years)

3050 B.C. - A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week,the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business code of ethics.

2900 B.C. - Egyptians create Sphinx, one of Seven Great Wonders of the Ancient World, but refuse to talk about it.

1850 B.C. - Britons announce Operation Stonehenge a success after arranging slabs in sufficiently meaningless pattern to confuse scientists for centuries.

1785 B.C. - The first calendar is introduced by Babylonian scientists.

1784 B.C. - Babylonians experience winter in June.

776 B.C. - The world's first known money appears in Persia. World's first known counterfeiter appears in Persia next day.

525 B.C. - The first Olympics are held in Greece. USSR enters six footer with a moustache in women's shot put.

410 B.C. - Rome ends the practice of enslaving debtors, removing biggest single obstacle to the development of the credit card.

404 B.C. - The Peloponnesian war enters 27th year because neither side can find a treaty writer who can spell Peloponnesian.

214 B.C. - Tens of thousands of Chinese people complete 1,500 mile long Great Wall. Neighbour's dog gets through.

1 B.C. - Calendar manufacturers argue over what to call the next year.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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