Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Conquest of the world! This it seems is now the latest plan put forward by government advisers to combat the recession plaguing the country.

Under new laws put forward the recently unemployed would be conscripted into military units called Browns Battalions and sent out to conquer the world. Not only would this tactic keep the unemployment figures down and benefit the government if successful all the plunder and booty captured would help pay the national debt.

When asked about this plan a spokesperson replied - "This is only a possible work in progress but as we all know a war is good for the economy and the nation. During wartime the people pull together and will accept any number of hardships as long as we win the battles ahead and they think it will all be over by Christmas. It is quite a good plan really because as the unemployment goes up we will get automatic increases in the numbers of people available for combat abroad and the inevitable losses will help alleviate future pension difficulties by lowering the numbers claiming them."

When asked how we could possibly dominate the world the spokesman tapped his nose and said it was all under control. "We have a cunning plan you see. We will start by invading and conquering the United Sates and in one fell swoop we'll become the most powerful nation on earth. Our Brown Battalions will be disguised as tourists and infiltrate the USA and once all 1.85 million are in place we will act. We don't even have to arm our troops as everybody knows there are lots of guns in America so we can buy them there. They will never expect their closest ally to attack them."

When questioned about possible setbacks or if we don't win the response was positive." That's the beauty of our plan, if we are victorious we become supreme and the other nations will fall into place one by one--if we fail and are defeated, well the Americans are a generous and forgiving people look how well Germany and Japan did out of the last world war. No win or lose the situation looks good for the government the party and the nation."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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