Wednesday, 19 November 2008


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image for Bush's Last Presidential Interview

Earlier this week, this writer had a chance to sit down with U.S. President George W Bush for what would be his last media interview as President. Bush talks on a variety of topics - from family issues to being in the public eye for eight straight years. Here's what he had to say:

[ADA] = Alejandro Juan-Abdullah, the reporter conducting the interview.

[GWB] = U.S. President George W. Bush

Thank you for allowing me to conduct this interview with you today, Mr. President.

It's my pleasure, Mr. Abdullah. Is that your real last name? It sounds like it should be on the federal watch list.

Yes, it is. Mr. President, many people have said you've single-handedly destroyed this country's reputation and economy. Recent popularity polls show your popularity across all demographics is in the low teen's. How does this make you feel?

Honestly, I feel great. I mean it - I really do. Shit, two more months and I can go back to my Crawford ranch and harvest my coca plants [sniff]! Plus, I can begin writing my memoirs.

That's, umm...quite interesting. What do you plan to write about in your memoirs? Mostly presidential memories, I'm assuming?

Actually, no. You see, I don't really have many presidential memories. Cheney did most of the work. I just kinda' laid low, you know? Made a few speeches when my buddies got out of control, went to a lot of keg parties...I even had a threesome with Cheney's daughter and her girlfriend! In fact, that was why I couldn't respond to Katrina immediately! Shit, you shoulda' seen the Lincoln Bedroom - when we were through it looked worse than New, my own levee broke, if you catch my drift.

Okay, I think I heard a little more than I needed to. Mr. President, if you could sum up your presidency in one sentence, what would it be?

You got any coke?


You got any beer?

No, sorry.

Fuck it then. This interview is over. Square.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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