I am a married man and father who is a famous athlete. I have fallen head over heels with the most infamous sex symbol of my generation.
I grew up to her erotic dancing and her titillating lyrics. This should be a man's dream come true. At first I felt like Joe D when he fell in love with Marilyn.
The only problem is all she wants to do is talk about something called the Kabala and insists ours is a purely platonic relationship.
Had a Hardon since Hanukah
Dear Triple "H",
I researched everything from Kinsey through Masters and Johnson to the Kama Sutra and I can't find anything about a sexsual position called the kabala or how many people it takes to have a platonic relationship.
There is a sweet little tryst called the "Cab a la" that requires a NYC taxi driver and lots of ice cream. Close? There's also a hot little south of the border sexplay with a squash but that's a calabasita.
Also my sources tell me that tectonic relations are possible but the timing has to be just right and California is probably your best location. If this doesn't help, try writing to AskFrFred$$giveness, he knows about all this weird religious shit...