Here is the list of the candidates for the Crewe and Nantwich by-election:
John Bland, Conservative. John Blander, Labour. John Mincer, Liberal Democrat. Pat Roniser, Green Party. Mike Moseley, UK Independent Party. James Hissler, British Raving Looney Party. Ethel Smith, Afternoon Tea and Cake Party. Tony Blair, Hugh Grant Party. Cherie Blair, QC, Legal Aid for Millionaires Party. Jacques Delors, Let's Not Bother With Elections Party. Kate Moss, Let's Have a Wild Party. And finally Albert Tatlock, Coronation Street Party.
The returning officer will be Mr. Johnathan Dimbledrone, and his assistant will be Mr. Jeremy Pratman.
The total lack of interest in the by-election has disappointed the candidates, apart from Mr. Yawn, but that won't stop the BBC and ITN talking about it for days. And it has even made the American Presidential election seem intelligent and interesting.
The winner will be announced on Friday, after the Conservative Party have decided who will win.
