Newt Warns GOP: Change or Die!

Written by Pointer

Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for Newt Warns GOP: Change or Die!

Newt Gingrich used some lessons from his life to preach to the Grand Old Party about how to survive in this tough environment:

"When my first wife had cancer and was in the hospital and I was so miserable that I began screwing my secretary, I could have just laid her or lay down and die. But no, I picked myself up from that adulterous bed and went on down to the cancer ward and told my wife that I wanted a divorce! That's the kind of brave change the GOP needs now!

"When Bill Clinton was being raked over the coals for his sexual indiscretions and I was shtooping another secretary behind (yes!) my former secretary and now my wife's back, I could have just been a hypocrite and demand the President's impeachment and ...that is exactly what I did. Maybe the second one is not such a good example but Change Grand Old Party or Die!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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