Dan Rather to Katie Couric: Katie, You Ignorant Tart!

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Wednesday, 20 June 2007


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With CBS's Evening News, with Katie Couric, facing the lowest ratings since 1987, Dan Rather, former anchor of CBS's Evening News, has been accused of sowing seeds of 'sexists sour grapes' for his criticisms of his ex-bosses for hiring Couric from the light-hearted, tongue in cheek, Today Show as his replacement. Saying, they are mistaken in thinking if they 'dumb it down and tart it' up they will attract younger viewers.

The following is an excerpt from a transcript taken from a heated change between Rather and Couric by telephone live on the Larry King Show:


COURIC: Dan, you and your ilk, are a throwback to the stone age when the only way a man could get a date with a woman was club her over the head, drag her back to his cave and have his way with her unconscious body. No more.

Your sexist's sour grapes are as relevant today as your genitals are to your sex life, shriveled up like tiny raisins all dried out under the sun.

RATHER: Katie, you ignorant tart. Your metaphors are just like your newscasts, all mixed up.

Hoping to raise ratings along with your hemline and plummeting neckline, it is sexpot kittens, or should I say cougars, like you running around brandishing your legs and cleavage that puts the broad back into broadcasting.

All the while, trying to break the glass ceiling with your high-pitched shills of discrimination, forever bitching about it instead of actually producing quality journalism, like real journalists in our profession that just so happen to be women.

Do not misunderstand me. I am not denying that it exists. It does. But for God's sakes woman keep your short skirts and pushup wonder bras confined to the bedroom, not the newsroom.

You cannot dress up the truth. You can only uncover it. The truth stands alone, naked in possession of a beauty you have to behold to comprehend.

As for my genitals being sour grapes all dried up like raisins, only you would know more about that than me.

I am still serving up delicious nut covered banana splits smothered in whipped cream and always, always with a cherry on top.

By Robert W. Armijo

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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