...CBS Evening News With Katie Couric has the lowest ratings since 1987:
10. Viewers keep asking CBS telemarketing pollsters, "Whatever happened to that tall good-looking guy and that funny man she used to hangout with?"
9. CBS executives won't let her switch to a see-through all-glass anchor desk for censorship reasons.
8. Ever since she did that "Joker" from Batman thing to her eyebrows children cry; and adults can't stop saying, "Why did she do that?" Every time they see her.
7. CBS executives don't let her bring in soft fluffy bunny rabbits to the studio set and pass them off as human interests stories anymore.
6. Every time she says the word, "Al-Qaeda," viewers can't stop laughing.
5. CBS executives won't let her stick a camera up her --
4. CBS executives can't get Bob Schieffer, Dan Rarther or Walter Cronkite to undergo an experimental Brazilian legs transplant operation with her.
3. CBS executives can't get Matt Lauer and Al Roker to co-host with her again.
2. Her Today Show fans tune in expecting to see Katie, but they keep getting some chick called Katherine.
1. She Keeps Showing Up for Work.