Word to the Wise

Written by owlafaye

Thursday, 1 February 2007

Dearly Beloved in Christ,

Whenever you see the number 666 it is a warning and sign from God that at that very moment you are very vulnerable to an attack from the devil.

You should immediately stop whatever you are doing and get down on your knees and pray for God's protection.

By the way, it is legal to stop and pray wherever you are, don't let heathen mockery or laughter sway you.

I suggest you watch license plates a lot closer than normal, looking for the dreaded 666 and its counterpart (999) and in this way you will avoid frustrating traffic situations and possibly accidents. Should you see a license of this sort, change lanes immediately...God will watch over you.

666 is the sign of the devil...the Lord God does not allow him to wander lurking evily and invisible so he has devised several methods to remind and caution us that Satan is present...666 is one of them.

Itching clothing has always been one, and another is if a crow watches you out of the corner of his eye. This has been known throughout history...crows are harbingers of deviltry.

Then there is the matter of black cats, need I say more? Simply shoot and poison them whenever you can...there are plenty of cats.

If someone looks at you and rolls their eyes, this has nothing to do with a personal affront, rather that person has been having lustful thoughts and has been temporarily invaded by the devil...stop talking to them immediately. If anyone winks at you you may well consider this an affront upon your good moral nature...it is best to change seats.

Erections are considered a sign of the devil outside of the matrimonial bed. Cold showers help, also reading Reader's Digest is a known cure. You notice all the Reader's Digests in doctors offices? Take one when you leave, the doctor doesn't mind; that is what they are there for...erections.

Be very wary of busdrivers and streetcar drivers who drive excessively fast and in an aggressive manner...they are usually surly, arrogant and of course, possessed. Get off immediately at the next stop...don't bother with the transfer, just pay a new fare. The transfer contains a message to the next driver. Throw it away.

You have to be careful in this day and age, especially with all this new computer stuff...you can get more information on God's Firewalls and other software designed to protect you from the many demons that, I am sure you have noticed, inhabit computers these days. Try http//:www.GodHelpUs.com

Be careful...your immortal soul is in danger of being lost forever to the powers and temptations of the devil.

Did I leave out anything? If so, post back to me immediately

Oh Oh Oh...wait..,I left something out, thank God I remembered.

The power of salt has been known throughout the ages and that is why it is so prevalent in Biblical teachings. Salt will ward off the devil. I want to caution you however. You notice that Catholics have a lot of purple in their garments and tapestries of ceremony and in all their devil worshiping rituals? This is because the substance iodine was introduced into several brands of salt being marketed by direct order of the pope. It is a known cure for several diseases that only Catholics get. Don't buy iodized salt. Rock salt is OK, and "Road salt" by the 100 lb. bags is the cheapest of all. These companies are Christian and have resisted The Pope's efforts and edicts to add iodine. God bless them.

Don't forget, iodine and purple are the potions and elixirs of color in the devil's curses and ceremonies.

Property of: O.W. Lafaye

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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