Pride and Prejudice Reloaded book released

Written by MonkeyInTheBath

Monday, 22 August 2011


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Books - make them interesting or burn them

Today, lines were forming outside bookstores across the country as excited readers couldn't wait to get their hands on the latest classic remake. This time it's Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice which gets an update, as publishers try to milk the popularity of the original title for all its worth.

To improve the appeal of the book, extra sex scenes have been added, and Mr Darcy has an annoying but cute alien pet called Jar-jar.

There are new action sequences, including a climactic carriage chase scene where Mr Bennet goes after a comically aggressive German (another new addition) because he was leering lecherously at his daughter. The German is chased off the end of a cliff and explodes in a huge fireball when he hits the ground.

The ending has also been cut short. Instead of a detailed account of Miss Bennet's life after marriage, it simply says "And they all lived happily ever after. The End."

The publisher has denied criticism that the book has been dumbed down, and simply says that "it has been remade for a modern audience, who admittedly are probably a bit dumber."

Next week, the remake of the Bible, set on the Moon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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