Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

image for Reverend Al Sharpton Claims That Oprah Winfrey Is His "Love Child"
One of Oprah Winfrey's bodyguards lugging around her wallet.

BROOKLYN - Reverend Al Sharpton, who up until now has been maintaining a low-profile announced that the former talk show queen Oprah Winfrey is his 'Love Child.'

Rev. Sharpton spoke with LaSabrosa Yazoo of Afro Sheen Magazine and told her that he had promised himself that he would not reveal that secret until Oprah's show went off the air.

Sharpton said that he decided to come forward at this time because he wants America to know that he is proud that he is related to one of the richest women in the world.

The reverend said that he does not expect one single red cent from his daughter but added that he just wants for her to accept the fact that he is her daddy and stop pretending that her real father is Vernon "Ah Ha" Winfrey.

Reverend Sharpton got a tear in his eye as he recalled the day that little Opera, as he called her when she was two months old, was first conceived.

He told Miss Yazoo that he and Oprah's mama had been out picking cotton, but getting paid of course, and when they returned back to his house the two just kinda fell into each other and one thing led to another and before he knew it the two was doing what he called "The Wild Thang."

Sharpy, as Oprah's mama called him said that back then he could not afford condoms so they just up and did the do without no protected protection as he so graphically put it.

Meanwhile Oprah Winfrey was asked by Miss Yazoo to comment on the charges that Reverend Sharpton was her real father.

Her eyes got the size of regulation ping pong balls and she yelled out at Miss Yazoo, "Goodness me child! I swear dat da next times dat I sees dat no good sumbitch, I is gonna take my size 10½ size high heel and kick da jive ass (blank) between his legs so hard dat his grandmammy on his mama's side is gonna be feeling it fo damn sho nuff."

Oprah shook her head and said that just this past year a total of 2,783 people had come forward saying that they were her long lost relatives.

She said that two women were from Sweden and they were as white as Nicole Kidman and they had the nerve to tell her that she and them were triplets who were separated at birth.

Getting back to Rev. Al, Oprah remarked "Lissen up Miss Yazoo. I am 57, Rev. Sharpton is 56. I duzz hates ta says it, but brutha Al he sho nuff ain't worth a beaver's belly button at math no way no how."

In other news. Piper Palin reportedly caught hell from her mom for telling a reporter for Hollywood Innuendo that her mom snores way louder than her father.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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