Bill Clinton Confesses

Funny story written by Neil Levine

Friday, 18 November 2005


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The Best Things In Life Are Free

Somewhere in political heaven-Bubba Bill Clinton finally admits he has a thing for "babes," particularly women willing to play his political thingie for free money, free love, freebies and free Willie, not necessarily in that order, but necessary in order to play and help his status as the Boobie Loving Bubba Babes Love, Bubba, Baby or something like that, honey, ya know what I mean.

"Now that I am making big money I no longer need to hide my love for the good life and good times and, dare I forget, good women, as I see it. I can just shoot the breeze all day and wait for admirers to drop at my feet. And kiss the ring a ding ding I offer up as salivation. Oh baby please."

"Nevertheless, even if you understand that it is a fact, I still believe there is nothing wrong with a good cigar and a willing intern that can't make the world go away. The best thongs in life are everything to me so why not. Don't you just love the sunlight on the back of the chair or the seat if that feels better."

"You see George Bush's problem is he doesn't believe in free love or freebies or free anything though free is free, my dearie. Just ask Katie Couric who knows all about being fancy free and glib and just doesn't want to spill her beans, if you know what I mean."

"Free money, free women and free love is a good deal no matter how you play it up and Hillary shares that when she's in the mood. That's the ticket to political success especially since my money is safe in the bank. No taking political risks or exposing my assets to scrutiny, not in these dangerous times, when extremists want you to think you can't live the good life because they don't know how to live freely and want to make politics the death of philosophy. That'll be the death of me yet. I mean why do I want some hate spouting little twerp telling me to lay off the goodies when Hillary and everybody just knows the sweet life is there for the taking."

"I wish George Bush would stop carping and just carpe diem to seek a date. It's not my fault he's leads a boring life. I mean puhleece. Could ya just help me with this ceegar baby."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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