Robert Pattinson To Star With Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder In The Film "The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 10 June 2011

image for Robert Pattinson To Star With Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder In The Film "The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie"
The top of Vampire Diaries Producer Manolo Middlezuck's desk. (Photo taken by Nina Dobrev).

HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Twilight Saga movies, Robert Pattinson has just revealed his next motion picture project.

RPattz spoke to Margarita Mixx, of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and told her that he has agreed to star in a movie based on the hit television series, The Vampire Diaries called The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie.

The director of the television series Manolo Middlezuck will also be directing the feature film which will star series cast members Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder.

Pattinson has been cast in the role of Sir Sirloin, the Scourge of The Salacious Salivators of The Sprawling Spanish State of San Sancho.

RPattz has stated that he can hardly wait to start filming and that he is really looking forward to Sir Sirloin's intimate deep forest romantic scene with Lolianna the Seductress of All Things Lusciously Lascivious who is being played by the sexually stunning and wondrously well-endowed Colombian actress and star of ABCs Modern Family, Sofia Vergara.

Middlezuck revealed that unlike the romantic scenes in the television show the ones in the movie will be much more explicit, graphic, and erotically titillating in nature.

He told Miss Mixx that millions of viewers of the hit show have written him asking that he make a film and allow the characters of Elena Gilbert (Dobrev) and Damon Salvatore (Somerhalder) some freedom in their on-screen relationship which is basically just a continuation of the couples off-screen relationship.

Middlezuck noted that he initially met with Nina and Ian and asked both if they would have any problem at all appearing in several romantically erotic scenes.

Dobrev and Somerhalder looked at each other for a few moments and then both suddenly broke out in ear-shattering laughter.

Middlezuck was taken aback, but he soon realized that their laughter was tantamount to a yes. He happily leaned over towards them and gave each one a high five.

He also showed them a piece of paper with a monetary figure showing how much each one would be receiving for their role in the movie.

Both Dobrev's and Somerhalder's eyes lit up. The two later admitted to Margarita Mixx that they could not believe how much they were getting paid for doing something that they do on a fairly daily basis for free.

Middlezuck revealed to Mixx that the movie will include an extremely graphic scene of a voodoo ritual that takes place at midnight in a misty toxic waste landfill that he feels could possibly be quite traumatizing even to the most hardened zombie-vampire-werewolf movie goer.

5T will follow up on the filming of the movie and bring you any behind-the-scenes developments.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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