Paul McCartney Engaged To Marry Girlfriend - Yoko Approves

Funny story written by Honey West

Monday, 9 May 2011


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image for Paul McCartney Engaged To Marry Girlfriend - Yoko Approves
Ono Says: Wedding Must Be Naked! Photo Blurred For Family Viewing!

London - Paul McCartney has announced his engagement to marry longtime girlfriend, Nancy Shevell.

While the two have been dating for four years, they'd been nervously waiting final permission from Yoko Ono aka "Dragon Lady" to go forward with their wedding.

When John Lennon wed Ono in 1969, she required him to sign a legal document which decreed that Ono would forever retain "full control of every aspect of The Beatles' lives, including all their future weddings."

The previously unknown "Dragon Woman Decree" as it is called in legal circles, has doomed McCartney, just as it doomed Lennon, to a life under Ono's domination and strict, irrational control.

A close friend of Paul's says, "The Ono contract came as a huge shock to Paul, he thought he was a free agent and could marry Nancy without asking for Yoko's permission. He's totally pissed! John was so pussy whipped!"

It's déjà vu all over again as Yoko continues to wield an iron fist over the iconic band. Her immense power has never diminished.

Last month, McCartney and Shevell met with her on bended knee, begging her to let them marry and be happy. Ono, seated in the lotus position on a golden throne, finally agreed when the desperate couple acquiesced to her demand that the entire wedding be conducted entirely in the nude.

"Paul and Nancy are absolutely mortified that they'll have to get married buck naked, and they sure as hell don't want to see her sorry ass, but they have no choice. A contract is a contract."

Ono has further demanded that all photos of the naked wedding be given to her for immediate publication in worldwide gossip tabloids.
She plans to publish a book tentatively titled, "Naked Grapefruit Plastic Banana Ono Wedding" in 2012 to coincide with her new album, "Ono Sings Sinatra".

When reached for comment, Yoko said, "Paul knows who runs this show - ME. I'm a very powerful woman."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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