Roseanne Barr Arrested At Super Bowl After Party

Funny story written by Sexpanther

Monday, 7 February 2011

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Roseanne Barr fight a case of mistaken identity?

Dallas, TX - Roseanne Barr was allegedly involved in an barr fight, hours after the Super Bowl, that resulted in a trip to the county jail for the former sitcom star.

Barr, in town to celebrate the release of her new Snickers commercial, was arrested on assault and disturbing the peace charges, and has been released on $100,000 bail.

Accounts of the incident remain murky, but initial reports indicate that the brawl may have been the result of mistaken identity.

The incident occurred outside the The Snickers after party held at Troy Aikman's Chicken & Waffles, a popular eatery in downtown Dallas. Barr was seen leaving the party at around 3:00 AM when she was confronted by an angry group of conservative citizens wearing colonial garb, and "don't tread on me" shirts. The group was heard screaming "sing our nation's anthem right or don't sing it at all," and "singing the national anthem is a right not a privilege."

Barr, who had sang a controversial version of "The Star Spangled Banner" some years back, was initially confused by the vitirolic crowd. She reportedly told detectives "I was like WTF get a life that was like 15 years ago you dumb tea baggers!"

But then, according to sources, a gentleman in the crowd shouted "Hey Christina Aguilera go back to singing songs that your good at like "Genie in a Bottle," or something!"

Enraged by the realization that she had been mistaken for the, recently obese, former teen pop star, Barr allegedly went ballistic. Witnesses say she threw her doggy bag full of leftover chicken and drumsticks at the group before security guards tackled her to the ground. An unidentified man was reportedly taken to the hospital for a concussion and a detached retina. Barr's publicist put out the following statement regarding the incident:

"Ms. Barr regrets the events that occurred last night, and wishes anyone injured has a speedy recovery. As most people know Roseanne has long struggled with her weight, and being mistaken for someone as large as Ms. Aguilera triggered a lot of repressed emotions. Ms. Barr has asked that you respect her privacy as she enters treatment for her anger and eating issues."

When asked for comment, Ms. Aguilera reported stated "Roseanne who? Oh the snickers girl! Snickers are my favorite. I eat like 10 a day!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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