Written by Lady Godiva

Thursday, 23 December 2010

image for Susan Boyle to sing at The Priory Clinic, London
One of Susan's biggest fans, Billy the Willy

Susan Boyle has accepted a recent invitation to sing at The Priory Clinic in London.

Susan has agreed on one condition, that the Red Scarf Fanatics, residing there at present, are heavily sedated for the duration of her visit.

The mini-concert will include a number of Susan's favourites from her best-selling CD's. She is also going to read a few passages from her autobiography.

When asked 'why' she had agreed to sing at the Clinic, knowing that the Subo fanatics were 'staying' there, she answered,

"Well och, yea canna blame the wee lassies can yea? They've all o' tha' money and time on theirr hands. They HAVE spen' a lo' o' money followin' me arround the werrld. Poor things need a wee rrest, and the werrld needs a wee rrest frae THEM. They're so harrd to control, especially 'rround the airrports.

Mind, as A said to the staff, keep 'em sedated as A don't wish ferr any more blessin's to be bestowed upon me (giggles). Ahm blessed enough.

A have put a wee basket o' goodies togetherr fae the wee lassies ferr Christmas. A put in it lots o' Walkers crrisps and Irn Bru plus all the DVD's A could find o' Monarch O' The Glenn.

Also, a copy o' a new cookery book ferr each o' 'em. The cookery book was put together by the memberrs of the Blackburn Women's Institute. It has a lo' o' ma favourite rrecipes in so Ahm sure they'll like it. Do any o' 'em cook? Ah well! No' tae worry.

Sure an' wee Billy Connolly's cummin' wi' me aye! He said he canna wait tae mee' 'em and tell 'em a few wee jokes tha' he's specially wrritten fer 'em.

He's asked me tae sing a duet wi' him that he's wrritten especially. A can't wait tae see wo' it's all aboot. He can be a bi' o' a lad at times can Billy. (Giggles)

Apparently the American fans're pretty well know in America now an' that's where wee Billy lives most o' the time,aye."

Susan told us she'll keep in touch and grant us an interview 'after' the mini-concert.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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