BUTTERMILK, Kansas - Kathy Griffin was in town to perform for three nights at The Buttermilk Holiday Inn. The star of the reality show My Life On The D-List was asked about her ongoing feud with Sarah Palin's little girl Bristol.
Griffin took a bite out of her ham and okra sandwich and said that Bristol the so called "Pistol" had better not mess with the likes of her.
The Griffa, as her gay friends call her, said that when she was dating Levi Johnston, the father of Bristol's little boy Tripp, he revealed a lot of personal and highly intimate things about her.
Griffa said that Bristol was 15 before she started buying store bought underwear. Previous to that she would wear panties that her mother "Snowflake" Sarah would sew out of caribou udders, moose nut sacks, and reindeer penises.
Levi confirmed the story and added that as a result Bristol did not really go out on a date until she turned 16. He laughed and said that by then she had started wearing regular bras and panties that her mom would buy for her at the Dollar Store in downtown Wasilla.
Bristol was asked what she thought about Kathy Griffin. She held her nose and said that Levi told her that Kathy's (blank) smells a hell of a lot like the rear end of a polar bear.
She added that Griffin is old enough to be Levi's mother and in fact she has about twice as many stomach stretch marks as Levi's mom does.
Bristol also added that Levi told her that when Griffin takes her bra off, her tits end up very close to her belly button.
There is certainly no love lost between the two fiery females. Griffin stated to Barbara Walters that Bristol had about as much business making it to the Dancing With The Stars finals as Cloris Leachman has of having Johnny Depp's baby.
Bristol has told her mother that she never thought that she would ever see a woman who was uglier than Amy Winehouse, but she remarked that Kathy "The Red Cougar Bitch" Griffin has surpassed Winehouse in terms of ugliness by an Alaskan mile.
SIDENOTE: The TLC Network is seriously considering hiring Kathy Griffin and Bristol Palin to star in their own reality show to be called The Misadventures of The Fussin and Fightin Bitches.
