Just days after British trollop Emma Watson (the weird-haired chick in the Harry Potter movies) posted boner-murdering photos of herself topless, ashamed-to-be-Latina actress Jessica Alba has released topless cell-phone photos herself, which reveal that she is a big, fat moose.
In the series of six photos, which she claims were downloaded from her iPhone by hackers, shows Alba raising her wife-beater tanktop to reveal disappointingly small, amorphous breasts and a huge, gelatinous belly, which some say equals what is hiding beneath the pup-tents Oprah Winfrey wears on TV.
"She's pregnant, you f--king retard," said Ms. Alba's agent, as if I am supposed to be aware of every E-list actress' current uterine state. "Who do you write for, you moron?"
