Change in government will never change, Sith reports

Written by Super-fan

Sunday, 29 May 2005

Do Not worry. There are no spoilers. Just some mockery. It's ok. May the Force be with you.

Last Thursday, The Sith released a statement saying they would not be giving up power any time soon. It is of no surprise. The republic refused to give up power for hundred's of years and it is assumed that a young Jedi will be necessary to stand up to the new govt. if it is to be overthrown.

Not to say that this new govt. is bad. They offer some strong benefits. No misleading orders, no stalls when the govt. wants something done, and NO WAR! (Unless some rebels chose to start one!)

"This is the beginning of a great age!" said Emperor Grievous. "No Jedi will stop our great, and wonderful Sith Empire. Give in to your feelings. Search your feelings and you will find it to be true.!!"

"We will begin the construction of the… um what should we call it?… "Death Star!" immediately. It will be used in order to keep things under control. We hope never to use it, though circumstance might force us too."

"May the Force Be with Us," said Darth Vader before he choked our photographer. "You will pay for making me look ugly! And where is Padame in this picture?"

"The Jedi powers to speak to the dead will be worthless because anyone can speak to the dead if they are dead themselves, which they will be." Added Vader. (Aren't his lines so consistently bad? I wonder… Is that Just cause his lines are written by bad writers? Hmm)

"This is a horrible turn of events," Said an anonymous Jedi. I definitely believe that the Sith are Russian Commies. They MUST be taken down!!!" "Maybe if I train enough, I will be able to sense when the Sith decide to destroy my planet. Then I'll be able to die against a real Sith lord."

The Sith didn't appreciate this comment. "We will do the best we can, but we will not tolerate any uprising. All rebels will be silenced. Wait. Tortured. Then Silenced. Maybe will ask some questions too."

"Blue and Green Lightsabers will be banned," Added the Emperor.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more