Surprising absolutely no one, red-headed skank-pad Linsday Lohan was arrested less than a minute after being released from Rehab.
"Lindsay Lohan had been released from the Neuropsychiatric Hospital," said an LAPD spokesperson. "And just seconds after said release, Ms. Lohan was arrested and charged with possession of drugs.
Lindsay, who was released after 23 days at the Hospital, was declared to not have any drug dependency or mental health issues by doctors at the same hospital which said Anna Nicole Smith was clean and sober.
"We find that there is no reason to suspect that Ms. Lohan has any disturbances, " the Team continued. "Why she looks like a 55 year old crack whore is undetermined at this time."
"Ms Lohan came down the steps from her rehab facility. Within a few seconds, Lohan lobbed a trashcan through the window of a nearby liquor store, attached a bottle of Patron to the I.V. still in her arm, and fellated a local drug dealer for an eighth-ounce of heroin, allegedly," said the arresting officer.
"Once she vomited all over my squad car, and put her clothes back on, she seemed to be in a much better mental state.