Miss Mexico, Jimena Navarrete, Crowned 2010 Miss Universe

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 24 August 2010


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image for Miss Mexico, Jimena Navarrete, Crowned 2010 Miss Universe
Jimena Navarrete, the new 2010 Miss Universe wearing the pageant tiara.

LAS VEGAS - Jimena Navarrete, Miss Mexico, was crowned Miss Universe for 2010 at The Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. Jimena beat out a total of 82 girls.

The Guadalajara beauty said that she was tremendously thrilled and was as happy as a paper eating termite in a pinata factory.

For her talent number, the 22-year-old Miss Navarrete sang the hit song by Katy Perry "I Kissed A Girl."

And it was a pageant first as all throughout the song a total of 40 of the other pageant contestants paraded in front of Jimena and kissed her on the lips.

The pageant was hosted by Bret Michaels and Natalie Morales. Lately, it seems that Michaels has been on just about every show on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and the Weather Channel.

After Miss Mexico finished her song number Bret hinted that he wishes that he could have kissed her as well. Jimena ran over to him and planted a big old kiss right on his mouth.

Bret was so surprised he could not speak. Morales asked him if he was okay. He nodded yes. She asked if he needed to sit down. He looked down at his crotch and nodded yes. The director quickly went to a commercial.

During the swimsuit competition Miss Mexico wore a two piece see thru swimsuit that was designed by the same people who make Glad sandwich bags.

When she got to the question category she was asked what she would do about the problem of illegal aliens coming into the United States from Mexico.

Jimena paused, smiled, and said that she would organize a non profit organization that would transport all of the illegal aliens by Greyhound Bus up to Canada where they could work in the Canadian forests chopping down trees.

She said that as hard working as the illegal aliens are they could easily have a forest totally chopped down within a week as they work 12 hours a day without coffee breaks or meals.

Miss Mexico was then asked that since two of her pageant sponsors were The Green Guacamole Drug Cartel of Yucatan and The Pinata De Queso Drug Cartel of Tijuana if she perhaps felt that they may have unfairly influenced the judges' decisions.

Jimena rolled her eyes and replied that the two drug cartels merely donated $10 million each to go towards her pageant incidentals such as gowns, swimsuits, high heels, diamond studded necklaces, earrings, bracelets, rings, underwear, snacks, souvenirs, and $500,000 in casino gambling chips.

SIDENOTE: Miss Mexico later noted that none of the drug cartel members speak English so therefore it would not have been possible for them to have influenced any of the judges in any way, shape, or form.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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