Bible code uncovers Jesus's freestyle rap verses

Funny story written by D-MAC

Sunday, 17 April 2005


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JP2 looking pleased after hearing his verses.

A team of scientists from India have discovered what could possibly be the most shocking story ever heard. These scientist have discovered a code in the bible that has unlocked Jesus's Freestyle rappings.
" We were very suprised when we stumbled upon this. I mean, the lord Jesus Christ having secret rap lyrics, this is quite exciting."

But this might even be more remarkable then first thought. It has now been found that this is post ressurection material. So he got a first hand look at death and decided to tell us about it.

Many religious figures are shocked to hear the news, but the more we look in to it, the more we find that this was more common then we thought.

Apparently back in those days, freestyle rapping was as popular as it is today, except, experts say, it was a whole lot more angry.

"We have heard verses that talk about stoning young women and beating their "bitches" till they can't see straight. There is also alot of animal sex mentioned, as the Camel was one of the most popular animals back in the day, and now we know why." Says expert Hanama Guildern

but its not just the religious community that is a buzz, as the entertainment world is going nuts about it too.

All the major record labels want a piece of this action, but the vadican stays strong and says that they will be producing the 14 track album.

"Man, I've just heard a bootleg of it, but it sounds tight! He is lyrically sound and has alot of talent. I wish i could have signed him to Interscope" said a thrilled Dr.Dre.

The rap community and the religious community are still a buzz about this situation, and we heard that a music video is in production with cameo's from Dr.Dre, snoop dog and Eminem.

In related news, all of his freestyles are currently in production for a hit album, Back to rap, which should hit stores around the end of July.

Theres one thing for sure, If things didnt work out with jesus being ourlord, we know now forsure, that his music carreer would have given him the same amount of fame

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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