Sam Ronson Pays Conjugal Visit to Lindsay Lohan at Sober Living House

Funny story written by Charpa93

Monday, 19 July 2010

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Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan are an item again seems like. Eyewitnesses say they spotted Ronson leaving the treatment center Lohan is staying at in the wee hours of the morning last week wearing baby-doll pj's and carrying a furry Bobby the Bear Louis Vuitton overnight bag.

A few days later, Ronson was back at the center with flowers and balloons and appeared to be happier than she's been in ages. Although she refused to give an interview, Ronson gave a quick statement saying that she, like everyone else, hopes that Lindsay finally gets the treatment she needs and that she (Ronson) is gonna try and stick it out again as the friend Lohan needs right now. Asked if the two of them were allowed privacy in the treatment facility, Ronson just gave a thumb's up and left it at that.

Lohan goes to jail next week and Ronson says that she already has talked to Lohan's lawyers to try and get conjugal visits lined up there as well. Ronson is said to be a bit jealous that Lohan is going to a place that has quite a reputation for its "lock-up hook-ups" as she referred to them. To be on the safe side, she wants to be able to visit Lohan as often as she can to make sure there isn't any cheating going on inside the big house.

Meanwhile, witnesses say that after Ronson's latest visit, Lohan was wearing a purity ring, obviously given to her by Ronson. Rumors are that Ronson is asking Lohan to save herself for Ronson only. Ronson is unaware that that kind of ring means that the couple won't have sex until they are married to avoid pregnancy. When told about the meaning of the ring, Ronson simply said "oh, well, whatever, man."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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