Abu (The Hook) Hamza to release album

Funny story written by Stevey G.

Monday, 12 July 2010

image for Abu (The Hook) Hamza to release album
Let's have a 'big hand' for Abu Hamza's first album

Abu Hamza, the jailed Muslim cleric, is perhaps more well known for his fanatical preachings and prosthetic 'hook' than for his musical talents and so news today that he is to release a music album will come as a surprise to many.

Hamza,(52) is currently an inmate at Belmarsh Prison and only last week received the good news that his appeal, against extradition to the US to face terrorist charges, had been upheld by the European Court of Human Rights.

Hamza developed his taste for music whilst working as a bouncer in various establishments in the UK, most notably the Aberdeen hotspot, 'Pegasus', which was a leading venue for the growing 'New Romantic' scene in the 80's.

Abu Hamza became swept up in the movement and was often spotted out and about, sporting flambouyant outfits and make-up, with good pals Adam Ant and Phil Oakley.

He started to learn to play the synthesiser and guitar, but unfortunately after his altercation with a land-mine in 1993 had to try a 'change of style'.

'It was a real shame', recalls Oakley, 'But he really persevered with the tambourine, woodblock and triangle and I really rate this first album.'

NME would appear to agree, 'An eclectic mix of styles,' they say summing up the album as a 'sort of Moroccan Jazz' and 'not quite as crap as we thought it would be'.

Phil Wragg, Governor of Belmarsh Prison agrees that he is 'very proud!' 'It's amazing to think that all this started with him rattling his hook on the bars of his cell.'

So where will this end? Abu Hamza is already talking of a follow-up album and it has been rumoured that Tom Jones is interested in a collaboration.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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