Mexico's Drug Cartels Have Reportedly Put Out A Hit On Mel "Open Mouth - Insert Foot" Gibson

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for Mexico's Drug Cartels Have Reportedly Put Out A Hit On Mel "Open Mouth - Insert Foot" Gibson
Mel Gibson who has earned the nickname, "Open Mouth - Insert Foot."

TIJUANA, Mexico - Well it appears that the Australian lad, Mel Gibson, has finally gone and stepped smack dab in a great big old pile of Aberdeen Angus cowshit.

It is one thing to call his girlfriend names, to racially slur a L.A. Jewish Police Officer, and to make fun of Arizona Tea Baggers. But Mel from Hell has now slandered an Hispanic employee by referring to him as a wetback.

The employee identified as Robertito Picante, who was born in The Sisters of St. Sopapilla Hospital in East Los Angeles, reportedly has contacted Monterrey's Mariachi Maracas Drug Cartel and they have vowed to look into the matter.

The MMDC is said to be sending a three man crew to have a face-to-face talk with Senor Gibson.

A spokesperson for the Mariachi Maracas Drug Cartel, who requested to be identified strictly by his undercover name, Sarita Palin, noted that the MMDC not only deals with the illegal developing, manufacturing, and transporting of high shelf drugs, it also is involved in maintaining a good working relationship with the hard working blue collar citizens of Mexico.

Sarita Palin said that his organization does maintain a "To Talk To List." The list currently has three names on it, Lou Dobbs, Arizona Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer, and Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio.

Palin said that when they heard about Gibson's racist remarks they immediately jumped his name from number 4 to number 1.

When asked if the MMDC uses water-boarding in its procedural proceedings Palin let out a laugh. "Ah well, lemmy sey dis about dat. We did away wiff water-boarding ten jeers ago. It ease day care center shit. We at dee reputable Mariachi Maracas Drug Cartel use what we like tu call ouch ouch boarding."

When asked to explain Palin remarked, "Ouch ouch boarding ease a means tu geet all kinds of informayshun. And eat ease also a means tu basically torshure dee hell outta dee son-of-a-beach or beach, wishever dee case may be if ju will."

Palin went on to explain in extremely, extremely graphic detail what the MMDC agents do the victim with a 2 by 4 board.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Wow! I have seen a video which the Mariachi Maracas Drug Cartel was gracious enough to send me. And dammit boy!!! I have heard of World War II torture by some of the meanest, cruelest soldiers in the entire world, but this ouch ouch boarding is 10 times worse. I honestly feel that if Mr. Gibson is unlucky enough to go through this hellacious torture he will most probably turn into Elton John, and will never, never, never, again utter a disparaging word about anyone towards anyone. Trust me.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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