Written by Dr Watson

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

The Rolling Stones have been the 'world's greatest rock'n'roll band' for decades. Now two of the original members, Charlie Watts and Bill Wyman, revealed sensational new facts about the band's history in interviews.

Charlie Watts is always regarded as the 'silent Stone'. The Rolling Stones drummer who hardly ever says a word did say many in a recent interview with a journalist at a third-class-hotel in Sheboygan, Michigan.

"Reminds me of the olden days" , Watts said of the somewhat shabby hotel room, "when the others, except for Bill who was always refurbishing a room, were very busy with girls and I sat in my room alone and wrote all the songs".

Ignoring the danger of a sudden heart attack for the journalist an unimpressed Watts went on talking further about that sensational statement: "People always believe that the original Rolling Stones songs were actually composed and written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.But the guy who wrote them was me! It was horrible during all those years, man. You see, when they tried to write an own song for our first album they tried very hard.

But as all kinds of girls were around even back then they were more interested in other activities so they locked me up in a hotel room and told me to write a song. While I was doing this I heard very well what they were doing in their rooms.

I could also hear Bill handling an old squeaking ladder from his grandfather which made a big noise and was really disturbing. He took that bloody ladder everywhere he went."

Later on, Jagger and Richards did not have to lock their drummer up.

"They knew that I was 100 per cent faithful to my wife Shirley so they thought I did not know what to do with my spare time. And they regarded it as a favour if they left me the songwriting, and as I was rather modest they even felt very good when they took all the credits.

"I think that among the early hits, 19th nervous breakdown is my finest achievement. It's about the slavery work of songwriting. But many other songs are not bad either, are they?"

There was an immense pressure on Watts because the others always used to be so loud.

"I don't want to get into details but imagine parties going on with lots of pretty girls. The rest is history", he says.

On the other hand, he admits at feeling a little bitter that he never was acknowledged as the only songwriter in the Rolling Stones and actually never got any royalties.

"Jagger and Richards would not be capable of writing or composing like one line of a song. I only held my eyes open, and out came songs like 'Starfucker', 'Miss you', or 'Beast of Burden'. Only on 'Paint it, black' and 'Jumpin' Jack Flash' I had some help from Bill, who came up with both of the riffs and was painting a door or dealing with his ladder. The squeaking sound of the guitar solo in 'Jumpin' Jack Flash' actually was his idea.".

Charlie Watts does not want to sue Jagger and Richards because of the royalties but he hopes that with this interview he has made things clear.

After his sensational statement the history of the Rolling Stones has to be completely re-written.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Rolling Stones

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