Ashley Cole obsessed by 'Lady-Boy'

Funny story written by Stevey G.

Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Ashley Cole obsessed by 'Lady-Boy'
Ashley's 'lady-boy' certainly has the 'X'tra Factor

Friends of the Chelsea and England footballer, Ashley Cole, have today confirmed speculation that he is currently obsessed with a lady-boy that he met in a club before jetting off to South Africa to take part in the 2010 World Cup tournament.

This latest revelation has been put forward as the real reason behind Cole's dismal performance during the group stage and the 4-1 thrashing by Germany, which finally sent the England team packing.

Many had previously put Cole's lack-lustre performance down to his recent split from wife, Cheryl.

Our source, a close friend of Cole (29) said ' We thought that Ashley had a thing about bigger women, and that's why the split with Cheryl came about. We now know what he meant when he used to say, that he preferred his women with a bit more to grab hold of!!'

Ashley was unavailable for comment but sent a text to this reporter stating '**** off and leave me alone, I hate all of you in England and especially the Press. I'm off on holiday now, I think that I've earned it'

Well we are pleased that you think so Mr. Cole.

The alleged subject of Mr. Cole's desires, Russian-born lady-boy, Lickya Balsov, confirmed that she was in a relationship with Cole and that marriage had been talked about. 'Ashley has told me that he reminds me of Cheryl, but I've got that little something more, that he can't quite put his finger on'

Oh I'm sure that he can if he puts his mind to it!

More on this story as it unfolds.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot