HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Katherine Zeta-Jones says that her recent rough facial appearance is due to recent bouts of unbounded stress.
The actress, who readily admits that she is still stunningly beautiful, confessed that she has gained four pounds within the past two months and she is trying hard to lose it, but to no avail.
Katherine also said that she has not been offered a movie role in a whole year. And she added that her last movie, The Secret Life of Joan of Arc, only sold a world-wide total of 1,187 tickets.
The movie's producers said that it was not even enough to pay for Katherine's eye shadow, eye liner, and lipstick.
When told that women during the time of Joan of Arc did not wear eye shadow, eye liner, or lipstick the movie's producer became very indignant.
He replied that in his historical movie the bloody bloomin' women do wear Revlon makeup and if he wants to give Joan of Arc a cell phone as well, he will bloody, blitheringly do so.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The film's director Englishman Byron Biffinsbridge, once dated Girl's Aloud singer Sarah Harding and before that he dated The Saturday's singer Vanessa White.]
The wife of Michael Douglas, also revealed that she has developed bunions that make the gigantic ones that Victoria Beckham has look like flea titties.
Katherine has revealed that she is seriously thinking of changing her name to Kathy Zeta-Jones to give her a more youthful sounding name.
She confesses that she may even have her breasts augmented, her thighs lipoed, and perhaps even have a bit of a vaginal tightening, which she smiled and said would put a hell of a smile on her hubby's face that even industrial sandpaper would not be able to remove.
Katherine did say that she is thrilled beyond belief that at least she does not have the horrendous thigh cellulite problem like Lily Allen has, or the young lad boobs like Keira Knightley has, or the humongous ass and a half that Serena Williams has.
KZJ did say that perhaps one of her worst features would probably be her uncentered belly button.
In other news. The two highly popular reality shows Dancing With The Stars and American Idol have both just had their finales this week. Any fans of either show who are having withdrawal symptoms can get help by logging on to www.aianddwtsaddiction.wow
