Justin Bieber Loses Fan Base Temporarily, Manager Blames Hairstylist

Written by Charpa93

Sunday, 23 May 2010

image for Justin Bieber Loses Fan Base Temporarily, Manager Blames Hairstylist

Justin Bieber was one of the hottest singing sensations to come along in months and his meteoric rise to the top seemed to have no end in sight. That is until he got his hair cut by Mitch, the cock-eyed barber.

Mitch was recommended to Bieber by his mom, Patsy Bieber, who owed Mitch a huge favor. "I know Mitchie from way back," says Patsy, "and one time he practically saved our lives by bringing by some tater tots when there wasn't anything else in the house to eat. I told him, Mitch, for a cock-eyed guy, you sure are something."

When Justin was "discovered" and hooked up with Usher, he received a complete makeover which turned him from geek to sleek, as everyone recalls. A top Atlanta stylist is credited with giving him the haircut that cemented who he was.

But summer was coming on and "Justin started to sweat a lot here in Atlanta," said his mom. "We had just recently begun to put together an entourage for Justin, and Justin and I decided we wanted Mitch to come along as his barber." It turned out to be the perfect storm for Justin. As Patsy explained, "Mitch claims that somehow Bieber had gotten a bit of a rash on his scalp from the heat and needed a treatment to take care of the itching. Mitch said the famed hairstyle was going to have to go, at least for the time being."

Says Patsy in tears, "I trusted Mitch. When Justin was tiny, I took him to Mitch and the haircuts seemed to look ok. Maybe it was because all Mitch really gave was buzz cuts to hide his inability to cut a straight line. At any rate, now Justin no longer has his signature hairstyle and we're told that it may not grow back the same way, ever-that he's always gonna have a bald patch right in the front that he won't even be able to hide with hats." There is talk that Bieber may undergo some sort of hair restoration and until then may get away with wearing a hippie head band to cover the spot.

But Patsy and Justin, being the good Christians, don't blame Mitch. "He's cockeyed, but he's the most wonderful guy on the planet," says Patsy. Justin just nods in disbelief, with his hand covering his bald spot.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more