To the casual observer, it must appear that Geordie songbird out of Girls Aloud, the Sexiest Woman In The World, as voted by FHM readers, and successful solo artiste who managed to dump her cheating underpant obssessed husband, the nation's sweetheart, Cheryl Cole, has it all.
Not so, or so we're told.
It seems that the diminutive darling, luvvie, sweetheart, who is 5'3" in her bare feet harbours one passionate, unfulfilled ambition - to reach the giddy heights of 5'4"
A friend told us that "Chezza", as her friends - including esteemed satirist and TheSpoof.com writer, Colonel Juan - call her, is desperate to reach the 5'4" benchmark, despite the fact that she stopped actually growing some years ago.
"If she really stretches out she gets close to it, you know, stretches her back and that, she gets really close," the friend said. "But she can't quite make it. She's tried everything, the stretching, the jumping out of bed first thing in the morning and taking a quick measurement thing, but she can't seem to quite make it. It's a little worrying really, because when she doesn't come up to the mark so to speak, she gets a bit down and dosses around the house for hours in her PJ Jim-Jams. But anything's possible with Cheryl. It's not such a tall order."
Sadly, at the time of writing, Cheryl Cole is still only 5'3"
More as we get it.
