Samantha Ronson Spits In Lindsay Lohan's Face - Lindsay Kicks Back

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 22 April 2010

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Samantha Ronson (LiLo's ex-boyfriend) practicing Kung Fu in her backyard.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - It certainly does appear that Lindsay Lohan just does not know what the meaning of "no" is. Her ex-boyfriend Samantha Ronson dumped her last year and since then LiLo has been openly pining for the oafish looking 'pixie boy.'

It has gotten out of hand commented Ronson. She said that the other night LiLo walked up to her at The Gay Caballero Sidesaddle Lush Lush Lounge and told her that she looked like a skinny version of American Idol's David Archuleta.

Ronson immediately spit in Lohan's face. Lohan then kicked Ronson in the balls. Both females then started tumbling around on the floor until the club bouncer broke them apart and escorted Lohan out the door.

Samantha says that she has moved on towards other relationships and she does not want to continue to have to dwell in the past each time that Lohan sees her and rubs her tits in her face.

Lohan says that she has never once rubbed her tits in Ronson's face. She did admit that she did rub her bearded clam (furburger) against her left hip and her butt against the back of her neck once while Samantha was sitting down spinning records.

Ronson, who is a local disc jockey in Los Angeles, pointed out that she does not want to ever go back into a relationship with LiLo. When asked why not, Ronson said that there were several reason. She remarked that she did not want to mention the first two, but quickly revealed that the third reason was because of Lindsay's freckles.

Samantha said that for some strange unknown reason she has suddenly become allergic to freckles. She noted that when she sees freckles in the mass amounts that LiLo has all over her body she starts throwing up.

In a related story. Doctors have said that Samantha Ronson is in fact afflicted with Freckletilitus, which is an uncontrollable aversion to freckles. Freckletilitus first originated in Freckle, Finland back in 1931.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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