Robert Pattinson Staunchly Proclaims That Contrary To The Vicious Rumors He Is Not Gay

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for Robert Pattinson Staunchly Proclaims That Contrary To The Vicious Rumors He Is Not Gay
The deer sausage smokehouse located on Robert Pattinson's Texas ranch.

CRICKLEWOOD, England - Robert Pattinson and his constant companion Kristen Stewart were in town to attend The Yearly Cricklewood Crumpet Cooking Contest.

Pattinson, who has recently been spending some of his free time down on his South Texas Ranch was asked about the rumor that apparently started in Delaware about him being somewhat on the gay side.

Robert laughed and said that about every five weeks another Patt is Gay rumor rears up its ugly head. The last time it started in Maryland, and the time before that it originated in the African country of Upper Shabutu of all places.

Kristen Stewart, Robby's girlfriend, stated that the Robster is not gay. She smiled and said that yes at times he acts like he's gay, like when he drinks a cup of tea and his right pinky finger juts outward.

Stewart also said that Rob loves to talk about female makeup and often times will tell her that she needs to use a little more eye shadow, or a little less lip gloss, or that she needs to realign her pantiliner.

Kris giggles and points out that it is ironic that in his next film, Robby will be portraying Clay Aiken, who is most definitely gay in the Luigi Luigiani motion picture Say Y'all Where's My Bra - The Clay Aiken Story.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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